Poof Piece No. 7: When I Grow Up, I Want to be Multi-Hyphenated.
When I grow up, I want to be multi-hypenated…is a sentence I never said as a child and now as an adult I feel is a blessing and a curse.
I genuinely believe that we as humans, are capable of wearing many hats…and why shouldn’t we? We’re complicated, talented individuals who deserve to massage all skills when there are multiple muscles wanting to be flexed. This however, is a tricky balancing act that is often difficult to execute. Why? Because some can find it difficult to see the whole picture.
Pride is something I take into everything I do and I’m finding that with pride, comes a lot of shame and this shame can pop up and cause sleepless nights and an anxiety inducing afternoon where even an earl grey and some fresh air can’t cure it.
For the past six years, I’ve lived a blessed life within the tv producing world and over the past six months I’ve moved across different spaces where I’ve been able to flex certain parts of myself which I only thought was possible in my dreams. But, thats it. Is it all a dream or is this my reality…I think it can be both.
For the first time in years, I’m feeling lost where my future is based on possibilities, where nothing is certain. How will I find my next cheque? Whom shall I send an email to and which hat will I need to wear next.
This is the reality of being a freelancer. Really, I should be used to it by now but, moments like these (where 80% of businesses are closed until Jan 9th) you’re left thinking “am I going to be okay?”. Short answer: Yes, of course babes. But, this doesn’t help leaving ones mind going to unfavourable places.
So, I’m going to use this poof piece as an opportunity to plan out my year ahead. What is it that I want and how will I achieve it and in doing so, I challenge those who read this to do the same. Let’s fuck reality off for just a moment and live in the dream world of “what do we want for ourselves”, even if it’s just for a moment, to remind us at a later date of it is we want to achieve; big or small.
2023:
Continue building a positive relationship with my family and cherish the friendships that have now become family, whilst welcoming new ones.
Gym. For the longest time, I’ve felt out of place but now it’s where I feel calm. I want to work out, not for abs but for my mental health. The more time I spend there listening to the top 40, the less anxious I feel. Go figure.
Experience more queer love. This may include being more involved within the community, volunteering for events/uplifting minorities voices and dating much MORE.
Be cast in a Television and/or web-series or Film(s). I want to play queer roles, cis straight roles, to be honest all roles. Life is but a rollercoaster and I want to ride it with all my being.
Walk Fashion Week.
Be on a billboard and/or campaign.
Continue working with brands which I admire.
Focus on Queerful. Figure out what Queerful looks like for 2023 and how I’ll elevate this.
Produce more television and be a part of a writing room.
Love myself more and more each day.
There’s my top 10. Is it ambitious, yes. Is it possible? Always. Am I going to achieve them all? Time will tell and quite frankly, it’s okay if I don’t. But, to be hopeful for ones future, it’s always time well spent.
Now in fear of sounding cliche, I oddly feel calmer. I think in a world where we lack control. It’s important to gain back some autonomy where you can.
So, my loves. It’s your turn. Let’s dream.
Love,
Sandy xx